The Matrix Springs a Wikileak

I think you can officially call me obsessed. This Wikileaks controversy, the imprisonment of Private Bradley Manning (the alleged source of the leaks), the attempted prosecution of Julian Assange for consensual but unprotected sex, the revelations of signed instructions from Secretary of State Hillary Clinton to U.S. diplomats to commit identity theft(!) against foreign officials.

I've already sent one letter to the editor of the Times-Picayune, in response to the typically banal musings of David Brooks, who can always be counted on for aggressively conventional wisdom that's often COMPLETELY WRONG! If they decide to run it, it will probably be edited because of length (hard to contain myself on this one), so I will most likely run it in this space in its entirety.

Until that point, I want to share a pair of writings that are a part of a project I took part in during November. They will be part of a larger publication in January in chapbook form (available for sale at that time, but the impresario of the project, Dan Waber, has given all the writers in the project complete freedom to do what they will with their writings. So consider this a Mikeyleak and a sneak preview:

November 29

Hi, everyone, let me be the first to wish you an early Merry Christmas, Happy Hannakuh, Joyous Kwanzaa and a Festive Festivus. Julian Assange and the crew at Wikileaks have put a smile on my face and a spring in my step, with the release of classified U.S. diplomatic cables laying bare the cynical, criminal imperialism at the heart of the Obama/Clinton Doctrine, so fundamentally unchanged from that of their predecessors. And Bradley Manning, if you truly were the one responsible for spiriting out the documents on your Lady Gaga cd, you, sir, are a great American, and I am seriously tempted to try to get into law school so I can serve as your lawyer at a later date, just like in that recent movie I didn't see, with the actor and acress whose names I can't remember (but wasn't she the one whose hotness the crew was arguing about on The Office that time? Classic Stanley Hudson moment).

Personally, I think Secretary of State Clinton could be a casualty, what with the orders, signed by her, to State Department employees to commit identity theft against fellow foreign diplomats. Surely some of the more libertarian Republicans (Congressman Paul? Senator Paul?) can give this one some legs and run with it. Of course, that would then give Obama the opportunity to recharge his presidency by appointing someone with solid antiwar credentials (you know, kind of like the perception of a charismatic presidential candidate from the not-as-distant-as-it-seems past)(how about Russ Feingold or Chuck Hagel, to name two people who aren't that busy right now?). I know, I'm just a goldern starry-eyed naive mooncow sometimes, but that's what early Christmas presents can do for me. Thank you, Julian Assange, wherever you are.

November 30

For a brief time today, it appeared that Julian Assange, 39-year-old public face of Wikileaks, and a man without a country for the moment, might be able to consider settling in Ecuador, as an official invitation was reported to have been extended from the Foreign Ministry. However, the invitation seems to have been rescinded by President Rafael Correa, who appears to have gotten cold feet about the obvious confrontation with the United States Government that such an action would provoke.

Might I make a modest alternate proposal? As the resident of a region which much of the United States seems to consider a foreign country, a region which was abandoned by the federal government in its time of greatest need, and then militarily occupied like an enemy state, not to mention cursed as a place of wickedness deserving of its fate, I would propose that the city of New Orleans extend a formal invitation to Mr. Assange and his band of anti-imperialist techno-warriors.

Before you dismiss the idea outright, recall that early New Orleans may Nicolas Girod proposed offering refuge to Napoleon Bonaparte when he was exiled to St. Helena. Furthermore, former New Orleans city technology chief Greg Meffert is facing sentencing on bribery charges, and Mayor Landrieu could probably use someone who (a) has staked his reputation on transparency, and (b) has a vested interest in avoiding any perception of wrongdoing. Finally, New Orleans is perpetually in need of sustainable economic development, and Mr. Assange and his colleagues could probably do a lot to establish a high-tech corridor when they're not busy exposing the inner workings of the Matrix to a gradually awakening citizenry.

Welcome, Julian. Oh, you can leave the disguise on. It's only about three months until Mardi Gras. You're among friends.